That Day I Was Drowning

That Day I Was Drowning

I stared at the stretch of water that reflected a bright, blue color in front of me.

I was at the swimming pool, at the edge of a three-meter-deep part of the pool, for a test of... endurance? Honestly, I had no fucking idea why this test was included in the examination package. I, for one, believed that I wouldn't be working on a plane or a ship, so why bother?

But, of course, I couldn't just bail out. Just say 'yes' to whatever they throw at you, they said. Just comply. Yes, yes, I complied, but my heart didn't. It's been drumming mad since I entered the area.

I tried to remain calm. All of the participants looked pretty calm to me though I was sure some of them felt like they wanted to run away from there as fast as they could.

Before, they were talking about scores and how time record played a part in determining the result. I wasn't afraid of the time record. I was afraid of the water itself.

I couldn't swim. There, I said it. I was a lousy swimmer.

You had no idea how torturing it was -- waiting for your doom.

To tell you the truth, the day before the swimming test, I went to a swimming pool near my house to practice by myself. Two weeks before, I practiced with a friend. But still, it wasn't enough. I just couldn't make my feet work like other breast stroke swimmers.

The sound of a whistle broke me from my train of thoughts -- a sign for me and two other participants to dip ourselves into the pool.

I wore my swimming goggles and dipped my body into the water. I held the edge of the pool with one hand as strong as possible. The pressure, I tell you, was unbearable. My chest felt tight and I swore I thought I stopped breathing for a moment. I decided then to take a deep breath and plunge my head.

Darkness, murky green water, that was all I could see.

The pool was dark and deep -- I couldn't even see the floor.

That was when I know -- I wouldn't make it.

'Three...'

I prayed to God to protect me --

'Two...'

'GO!'

The start didn't go well. I slipped because I was too hasty.

But, luckily, I could grip the edge with my hand, and quickly used my feet to push the wall and swam forward.

Well, take a look at that -- I almost drowned without even trying to swim.

I tried my best to catch up, but, being a poor swimmer I was, and because of the very thrill at that chaotic beginning and the fear and intimidation that strained me from the deep, I ended up failing to control my moves.

After three moves later, it became a complete mess: I screwed up my breathing, causing me to breathe the whole chlorine water and swallow them, and got choked.

Trying to survive, I splashed water everywhere -- raising my hand to get the attention of the committees. At that moment, I was sure I was going to lose consciousness as water blocked my respiratory system.

And the scenario would go like this: one of the committees would throw me a float, I would catch it, and I wouldn't finish the test.

I wouldn't get a score because I didn't reach the finish line.

No -- I rejected that idea, and in that split second, my hands reflexively tried to make my whole body stayed afloat -- they started to flap like a swimming dog.

It was amazing how your will and determination could help you survive a near death experience, and I got to experience that first hand.

And at that time, the only thing that kept me going, that kept me alive, was the doggie-styled swimming, and the determination to finish what I started.

'Fuck that time record. I'm gonna reach the finish line no matter what.'

Struggling, feeling out of breath, shamelessly, I did.