The Stages of Dealing with Death

The Stages of Dealing with Death

There's nothing eternal in this world. Flowers will wither, animals will die, and so do humans. Living beings are never destined to be immortal. Yet, often one can only wander what will become of them if they are left by their loved ones. For you who have experienced loss, perhaps you might want to stop reading because it will get your heart hurt real bad. Nevertheless, I am not here to stop you. Here, let me tell you the process of dealing with death:

1. First, you will not believe it. At some point in your life, perhaps you were already aware that people will eventually die someday--heck, maybe you even prepared yourself to face such event. You think you are ready, but no. The fact that your loved ones will not open their eyes ever again would leave you with a strange feeling in your stomach, between acceptance and disapproval. It's just hard to believe it.

2. Next, you just cry. Believe me, it can take days or even months for you to really acknowledge that your loved ones are not in this world anymore. You will begin to regret everything you did and didn't do with your loved ones. You will start to create your own version of 'if's--your own scenario of how things should've gone. That the times you shared with your loved ones should've been spent better. And then, you will start crying again in your sleep. And you wish, you would meet your loved ones in your dreams.

3. Then, emptiness. Your lives start to feel different. Big chance it will take a turn to the worst. I might say that this stage is similar to the first stage, in which you're faced with a strange sensation, but of emptiness. You might start to throw questions to yourself, such as "how did this happen?", "[the person] has lived with me for twenty years, and [the person] is not here anymore. [the person] is dead. How...?", "Why?". You will begin to miss your loved ones' presence and actions--their cooking, their hugs, their kisses, their laughs. All of which will lead to your chest pained and your throat hurt. You want to return to the lives prior to their deaths.

4. At this stage--perhaps a year after your loved ones' death--you may have accepted the fate. You have successfully lived your life without your loved ones. You might not believe it but you have. Yes, you haven't forgot them but you managed to move forward. You might want to give yourself a pat on the back for all the hard work and countless nights of tears you've been through. Sometimes, stage three would reappear, but you can handle it.

That's all the process of dealing with the death of loved ones. One person might experience different process from another, but I know it's not easy and never will. Nevertheless, we will have to learn to let go, someday, one way or another. Because, no matter what, death always follows.