Maybe

My world is crumbling ever since you're gone.

Everything is stale. Pale. Miserable.

You're my ray of hope. My strength, that keeps me going, overcoming obstacles, facing disappointments and failures. 

Because I know when you're there, there's future. 

Maybe, if I hadn't used my regretful mouth to pray for God to take your life, to end your pain, you'd still be here.

Then everything would be better again.

I just want you here.

I'm such a selfish human being.